Merry Christmas, Nana and Granddad!

Fatherhood at 3 Months

It seems crazy that Luke is three months old already.  I remember the night he was born like it was yesterday.  I mean, who wouldn't remember 19 hours of labor!  Although, I think my wife's memories could be filled with varied emotions compared to mine, and for good reason!

There are a few thematic things that I have learned over these past three months.  I am incredibly thankful for them.  I continue to believe that everything on this earth points back to God.  Be it a bride, a son, a house, friends, anything at all... you can learn the character of God through all of these things.

Christ's selfless life has eternally changed my life.

The biggest thing I have learned is the idea of being selfless.  As a caveat, I must note that my wife is infinitely more selfless than I, and I am often in awe of this very fact.  Before Luke was born, it seemed like life was so busy.  Truth be told, I was filling my life with as much as I could, because I could.  Now, life has been minimized to only the most important things so that I can be available for my family.  To put it as JR Vassar once taught at a men's retreat, fathers have a first shift and a second shift.  God has called me to lead this family as best I can, which requires a selfless mindset so that I can take care of my family.  Things that used to matter... simply don't matter anymore.  When exhausted, all I can turn to is Christ's example on the cross, where he bore all my sin, was pummeled, put to death.  All for me.  If I can't be committed to my family, I'll never begin to comprehend Christ's selflessness on the cross for all who call on his name.

A baby thirsting for milk and us as Christians.

Luke is a happy boy.  Unless you pull the milk away, then he is pretty frustrated until he gets more!  He wants to make sure we give him a full stomach so that he can be healthy.  What could our lives be like if we truly sought after the Word, prayed and had a dialog with God everyday, striving for more and more so that we can grow in our spiritual health?  He's given us apps for goodness sake... yet we still find other things to do that offer no growth at all!  Those things are okay, but our concern with our spiritual health must increase to be like a baby with his milk.

The simplest things seem to make parents the happiest when it comes to a baby.

Rolling over.  Smiling.  Laughing.  Burping.  Sleeping.  Sleeping 8 hours.  This list meant almost nothing to me before Luke was born.  Now, if any of these things happen, it's worth banking it as a story for later with family and friends.  The seemingly simplest things are like the greatest thing in the world!  What if this was the case for what we can be like when God provides for us.  Be it a blessing of a relationship, engaging in meaningful conversation with someone, rain, or even the very breath we breathe... what if we wanted to tell God about our gratitude for all of our blessings?  Can you imagine if we thanked God and praised him for every small thing, rather than just for the large things like a new job, friendship, etc?

Luke has brought so many blessings and so many insights to God's love for me.  I hope I can teach him more and more about the Lord so that he can fully experience the life God has for him.

I'm a lucky man.

Here's a video I made that highlights our first three months with Luke.  We are incredibly blessed.

First month of fatherhood

Luke is now more than one month old. There have been thousands of memories in the last month, yet it seems like it has flown by so fast. I expect that Rach and I will be saying that for the rest of our lives now. We've learned so much about parenting, especially since both of us were pretty much going with the flow without much knowledge of how to do a lot of things.

The instant he was born, our lives changed forever. We lived 10 years of our lives as a couple that could do whatever, whenever, wherever and however. It was just the two of us, excluding obvious family things when we were dating in school. The point is that nobody was dependent on us.

As we began the journey of parenthood, we began to fully understand that Luke, as innocent and seemingly perfect as he is, is completely dependent on us. Whether it's food, sleep, cleaning him up or anything, he relies completely on us. As I began to think on this, God revealed a few things to me that are more present than ever.

God supplies our every need. Even when we don't know it.

Luke's life consists of eat, sleep and poop. His playtime includes a fun little mat and some crazy songs that his mom and dad make up as they go. It's such a simple life, yet he's so extraordinarily happy. What if, even when we are in a tough spot or are waiting on an answer from God on something we think we need, we just thank God for what he's given us and live extraordinarily joyful? Instead of thinking God's going to provide X, Y or Z at A, B or C time in our life, what if we just thanked him for the thousands of blessings he's provided.

The Father knows what he is doing.

We have one son. Even with that, we sometimes panic at a strange noise or when we think we've done something wrong that could "mess things up". Think about the God of the Universe, where there have been billions of lives throughout history. And HE controlled and controls every one of them! He has never made a mistake! How unbelievably limited are we that with Luke alone we are so analytical to be sure we do things correctly. The Lord, at least from what I understand, doesn't have to analyze your situation. He knew your entire being BEFORE you were born!

His love is unconditional, eternal, sacrificial and indescribable.

God, in his infinite love for us, sent his only son to die a horrific death on a cross so that you and I could be made right with Him. In my constant temporary desires and things in me that will take his stuff without thanking him for all of it, he still loves me. He doesn't love me for anything that I've been able to accomplish in my whopping 26 years of life. He doesn't love me because I'm a good person. He provided love before I ever knew Him. In fact, I was sinning against Him, yet, according to Romans 5, he loved me while I was yet a sinner. I can only hope that our love for Luke resembles this as best as possible.

We have experienced so many things in this first month of Luke's life. I've seen a lot of beautiful places in God's creation, but I'm convinced that the gift of life is the most beautiful creation there is. Looking back ten years ago, I never thought the day of being a dad would ever come. Now that it has, I hope to enjoy every day of it.

Below is a glimpse at Luke's first month of life!

Approaching Fatherhood

Tomorrow marks just 5 weeks from our official due date in August. It has always felt like it's coming, like life is about to hit a new stage for me, my family, my wife and, ultimately, a new life in Luke. But when I look at the date, it is just 5 weeks away! So far away, yet so amazingly close!

It's been about a two year journey for my wife and I. I look back at the events that occured with all of this, and I am amazed at God's provision in my life. He kept saying "You're not quite ready yet, Ben", when I was saying "God, I feel like you're telling me it's time". He said "Keep your faith, son". I kept saying "But I just want to stop if it's not going to happen". I will never forget what a friend, coincidentally named Benjamin, told us one day in a completely unrelated discussion.

We talked about the hope that is spoken of in the Bible. Too often, I think we confuse "hope" with something that God will provide us here on earth, a better life or something like that. But, the hope that is spoken of in the Bible is his gift of eternal life, the ultimate promise. It all relates to Christ. There is no hope without Him.

I'll never forget when I just laid it out with a few men, asking them to pray for me as I just wanted to know that God was in control of us having a baby. I'd always had the gift of faith, so this was seen as something completely unusual. The next day, the very next day, I was on a highway in North Dallas with hundreds of cars around me when I spun completely out of control. I crossed three lanes, then another six lanes, doing a 360 and another 180. I ended up facing oncoming traffic... on a highway!

It was at that moment that he made it known. If he could save me from a massive accident on one of the most dreadful highways called 635, how much more can he oversee in my life! I didn't deserve to be spared of an accident. Much more, he has saved me from my wretched self through Christ on the cross!

Now, God blessed us with a son. He has called us to be parents, to work for his Kingdom through parenthood among many other ways. I can't wait. I have a feeling that Luke may be an athlete. I am confident that he'll love his Momma, hopefully his Daddy. But all I can do is lay his salvation at the foot of the Cross and hope that God reconciles Luke to Himself as he has Rachael and I.

So here's to waiting another 5 weeks. It's been a journey. Reflect on the memories behind us. Strive to be the best we can be for what's ahead. But, most importantly, lay it in God's hands to show us all that we need.

He knows your paths, even when you don't

In two and a half weeks, it will mark the 10 year anniversary of the first time I saw Rachael, my bride, my wife, mother of my child. As I was thinking about the past ten years, where I was and where it has come, I'm in complete awe of God's work.

Ten years ago, I was a moron. I was the athlete, the sports-obsessed maniac. I was 16, too cool for many. I was two weeks from heading to church camp, a place that always meant a ton to me as a youth. Things were pointing everywhere in my life. I didn't really have a clue of what was ahead.

Rachael was not a part of our church. She didn't go to the same school. Heck, she lived what seemed like a million miles away, at least that was my mom's initial thought... since I was a brand new driver on the road.

After a church camp, a best friend of mine was dating a girl I had become good friends with. Then, she brought a friend to church for the first time. This girl was Rachael. I remember sitting one row in front of her, trying to be cool, and thinking: "This girl's legit. I'm gonna ask her on a date one day". I did, months later, and the story unfolded from there.

Many people act amazed when I explain that Rach was my only girlfriend. I guess they either think it couldn't be possible with me, or that it's so unusual in general. I didn't know I'd meet my dreamgirl at 16. Ha, I honestly thought I was too much of a goon for anyone to understand me. But she did.

As I look back on our years together, I praise God for his providence over my life, over our lives. In 10 years, we've been through what seems like almost everything. Things clear, things unclear, but God has been over it all. He knows all. All I did was enjoy the days that God gave me, and he introduced me to this beautiful, shy girl. Then, he led us through each and every moment, showing his grace on us so that we could follow.

Whatever you are going through, God will provide. He has provided me with a gorgeous wife, a great family, unbelievable friendships, and now, a son on the way. I didn't do anything to deserve even an ounce of the blessings he has provided. He provides because he is our Father. Focus on him today, and trust that he'll lead you and provide you with what you need. There will be rough times, there will be awesome moments. What we can cling to is that God's power is above all.

He took a smart, pretty, sweet woman and brought her to a guy who was clueless about women. 10 years later, he has blessed that guy with thousands of memories that will never be forgotten, but rather enjoyed until I leave this place.

He took a woman, who had never really been to church, and took her on a ride that grew her faith exponentially each year for 10 years. He took a guy, who grew up in church, went to a church school, worked out at church, and revealed Himself to me in millions of ways, growing me FAR beyond where I was 10 years ago. He binded these two together for life, showing them more of his grace and mercy than ever before.

What a ten years this has been. I can only hope for 100 more.

May 21. Probably just another day.

By now, we've all probably heard the man who is assuring the world that tomorrow is the end of days. He even has it narrowed down to the very hour that Christ will return.

I've heard many things about this man, and his followers. They've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to tell the world that "Judgement Day is coming". No doubt do we as Christians believe that Christ is coming again. Just as it was prophesied that he would be born, and was, he will return just as he has promised us.

Now, here is something to consider. Pay attention to the tone of the guys telling us about their "mathematical analysis" of the Bible. They are out with signs saying "Judgement Day is coming". Think about that. If someone came to Christ out of fear, out of a "Oh, crap, Saturday's a comin'... better do something now"... do they actually understand God's love for them through Christ? Not to say that one couldn't, it just seems hard. Additionally, I have a tough time thinking that God would be glorified with people who are scared to go to Hell, so they "believe" in him for a few days to "ensure" they are good to go.

This focus on the end of the world doesn't have to be like this. What if it opened a door to actually sharing the Gospel, sharing the whole Gospel, with those asking questions? What if, when someone asked whether we believed that Christ would return, we ACTUALLY shared why we believe he will return at ANY time. What we can't proclaim at all, much less "beyond the shadow of a doubt", is when Christ will return. Christ himself doesn't know.

To end, we should be less occupied with the time and day that Christ will return and live every day like it's the last day of our lives. We should show God's love, glorify Him alone, submit to him as Lord of our entire being, and celebrate that his promises are true and that he'll return one day. It'll be a glorious day for believers.

The end may come tomorrow. It may come today. It may come in the year 2100, 3000 or beyond. That's not what we're to be preoccupied with. Our focus should be his grace on our lives each day, that he even allows us to breathe, to have a home, to enjoy family, to exist at all. Our focus is to be to praise his name for what he's done for us through the cross, so that we could be with God. Some of us have seen our last Christmas. Some of us may see 50 more. All that matters is "living he loved me, dying he saved me, buried he carried my sins far away, rising he justified, freely forever, one day he's coming... Oh GLORIOUS day."

So, to end, I'll probably see my friends on Sunday. Or I will be with the saints glorifying the King of ALL. Either way, Christ is King and God is to be glorified. Years ago, I felt God telling me that I was going to have a child of my own. We began that journey, thinking it wouldn't take too long. Then, it took 13 months. Glad I didn't think I knew God's timing better than Him... or I could've been one frustrated man. He knows when he's coming back. Let's praise him all the more.

For now, I'll prepare for the birth of our son. I'll continue to pray for his salvation in the years to come. I'll continue to pray that God reveals more of himself each day to my wife and I. He loves us. He sent him who knew no sin to be sin so that we could become the righteousness of God through him. That's what my family will cling to.

Our sons and daughters. Our greatest gift to the world.

As I prepare for life as a husband, father and follower of Christ, I am completely looking forward to it. I've dreamed of having my boy play golf with me. I've dreamed of my girl looking just like her momma, doubling my dose of sweetness each day. We are nearly just 5 months away from this day. God has blessed us with a child, and I will be on my knees in awe of the Creator who creates life. I've seen mountains, sunsets, beautiful coastal scenes. But nothing can compare to his gift of life.

As I look forward to being a father, I am constantly reminding myself that life as a father is not merely having a baby and enjoying it everyday. If it terminates on that, I've not captured the essence of God's gift to me.

God created man to be a representation of Himself on this earth and to glorify Himself. He created Adam, then Eve to be as one. Marriage is such a representation of God. Such a union, all parts completely their own, yet one. This same thing applies to my relationship with my child. My son or daughter should see Christ through my constant love for them, my constant forgiveness, my constant guidance, my constant outreach to their lives.

God pursues us and pursues us in an awesome way. We sometimes don't realize it, but he loves us SO much. It was evident with the sacrifice of his son on our behalf! I want my son/daughter to experience much the same from me. The hope doesn't lie there alone, the hope is that through me, they see Christ and come to know the Lord.

The other challenge with this is that only God can save. I can't muster up enough "goodness" in my home to save them. God alone can do it. I am constantly praying that God reveals himself to my child so that they become heirs to the Kingdom just as I have. It is my responsibility, as the man, to create an environment that is conducive to my child seeing Christ. They will look up to me and Rachael for everything. It requires a selflessness that I have never really experienced.

Looking back on my life, I realize how great of a father I have. He came home from work to a very energized son. I never remember him telling me that he was too tired to play games, play catch outside, head to the golf course, watch my favorite shows. He had to be just as tired as I am throughout the workday, but it didn't matter to him, he was going to enjoy his family and create an environment that enabled Christ to be seen. Through his faithfulness and efforts, he was successful.

At a conference this weekend, JR Vassar stated that our sons and daughters are the greatest gift we will ever have to the world. I want to remember this everyday as a father and understand what it means to me as a husband, father and Christ follower. It has eternal implications. We are able to experience God in a deep way through children. A man's fatherhood is not the end in itself. No, it's going through fatherhood and experiencing and loving His Fatherhood.

I am excited. I am nervous. I am thankful for this incredible blessing in my life. Rachael and I are so excited about what is in store for the rest of our lives. I am incredibly grateful that God brought Rachael into my life, because she is going to be the most amazing mother. I know this because she is the most amazing wife.

2011. Going to be a great year.

I love celebrating the new year. There's something about the "fresh start" that we get on January 1, though it's not a reality. It's more of a "I want to get here this year, and I wasn't there last year" outlook.

2010 was an incredible year that I will eternally be thankful for. 2011 can be better than that.

As I began thinking about how I view things in life, I think I'm a pretty content person. I don't typically look at the outside at what others are doing and let that drive me. Well, unless it's in the realm of sports. If I find a better golfer or athlete, I want to beat them, doing anything I can. Other than that, I can keep to myself, be myself and be happy.

But, this question popped in my head and it's been on my mind for a while. What if I'm too content externally, which leads to being content in the realm of my relationship with God?

Philippians 3 is a great reference. Paul discusses all that he has done. He's legit. He's seen it all, bad and good. Yet, he says that he still has not obtained the goal. He writes that he still longs for the things of Christ, that he has more to do.

What if I took that attitude in 2011? What if we had a "holy discontentment" and just wanted more of God in everything that we do? This scripture says to forget what lies behind and look at what's ahead. A great perspective! I can forget all mistakes, because of the grace of our God, and completely focus on what He has for me this year.

I do it in business. I have goals of where I should be, where I'd like to see my clients be. Why not do everything we can to help us get more of God in 2011?

I don't see a reason why not. I want to praise him for every given day this year. I want to thank him for his grace when I lack due praise for him.

2011. It's time. Again.