Once is random. Two is a trend.

A friend of mine used that phrase this week for something entirely unrelated, but it nailed down some thoughts on social media for me.

One of the recurring things I've seen play out on social media is some intense bickering on a number of subjects.  Sometimes, it can be fun.  I defend Michael Young, the Rangers best position player ever to play the game.  I defend Tony Romo.  I get blasted about both, unanimously, every time.  It's all in fun.

Another thing that people argue about, and this is typically either a conservative vs. liberal discussion, is anything political.  Sometimes it's a weighty subject such as gay marriage, while other times it is about something like what President Obama did the day before such as play golf.  While important discussions sometimes, it almost universally causes the biggest divide even among the closest of friends.  It's a weird animal to watch play out.  And unhealthy.

Yet another people argue about, and this is generally a Christian posing another question for Christians, is any hot topic that causes much conversation among Biblical Christians.  You name it: Divorce, Alcohol.... anything that typically brings out the name-calling of fundy vs. contemporary vs. grace addict.  It's always been an animal.  And perhaps social media empowers one to converse about said subjects.  But is it healthy when done on an open forum?

Is it healthy to discuss cultural hot topics and "go on record" and share articles supporting your cause?

This is something I'm guilty of.  I'll just be fully transparent.  I used to feel like social media was a way to share the latest news and create a discussion.  That certainly is a way people use social media.  But I think, in 2014, it's probably overkill at this point to share some of the same thematic stories.  For instance, in 2013 I caught myself saying "I'm sick of Yahoo posting the same cultural articles.  They're clearly all about that."  Do I know the people over at Yahoo?  Do I even know the copywriter who was asked to write on the subject?  Nope.  Do they personally believe it?  Who has any idea!  But the hot topics generate clicks, comments and ultimately cash for the company.  And that's all that matters to them.

But for us on social media, especially as believers in Jesus, repetitively trying to "shout" to the masses about the cause can come across the wrong way.  What if we approached it differently?  I still think it's important that we bring Jesus to the culture and Biblical understanding of our place in this world via any channel we possibly can.  It's what we're called to do.  But what if it was about a single person who you have some sort of relationship with rather than the masses and friends you haven't spoken to since middle school but ended up "friends" on the world wide Facebook?

What approach usually challenges you more:  Social media ranting?  Or a challenge from a friend or colleague?

2013 was one of the toughest years of my life from a personal level.  My college roommate challenged me in a few areas, and I ended up walking out of a conversation with him because things were so, healthily, heated.  Months later, hard as that conversation was, I'm a better man for it.  My entire home group of men came to my house at 9pm one night to confront me about something that, while "small" in most people's view, they wanted me to be held accountable for something and they let me know it.  In a huge way.  We're talking a CIA-type operation.  All rode in the back of one of the trucks, lights off so I wouldn't see/hear them outside and boom, a phone call:  Ben, we need to talk outside.

On the other hand, I've seen literally hundreds of social media posts with the intent or desire to "challenge" the way we think about something.  While these posts are from genuine people with very good intentions, social media has to be short.  Do we really have enough context in our post that one person can put out something in the proper way?

In the same way, don't define people by their posts.

I used to use social media as a way for, if I die at 30, my kids would be able to go to my channels and see what I was "all about".  And then, God literally brought this to my attention on a drive home recently.  When talking with my kids, I am not a die hard Rangers fan with 80% of my discussions with them about the Rangers.  I never talk politics with them.  I never rant about culture with them.

With that said, if my kids viewed my Facebook after I die, would they see the same Daddy that they knew over the years?  Or would they see an entirely different person, even if the posts were well-intended and informed as possible?  One post is random, two is a trend.  A dozen may quickly, unintentionally, define you in a way that was never intended.

The reality is, and I know most people connected to my Facebook won't believe it:  The Rangers and politics and hot topics of the day don't really come into play for me outside of Facebook or a heated discussion in person.  I wake up every morning and thank God that he's blessed me with an incredible wife, a son that continues to make me laugh, and a beautiful daughter that will arrive any moment.  And an incredibly supportive family.  A career I love.  And problems that will never be discussed on Facebook along with dreams and desires for my life.


What if we made relationships the priority, and then discussed Biblical issues and God's grace in the context of our friend or colleague.  A conversation over coffee, through a round of golf, or while watching a sporting event is far more effective and you'll get much more out of it than short tidbits on Facebook/Twitter/Youtube/Google+/#anyotherchannelthatwillinevitablycome.  I love seeing the pictures of families, the stories of kiddos and the fun times of people along with prayers that can be sent their way.  Either way, I don't want to define anyone by their social media interactions and I hope that people might have that same mindset for me.

Happy 2014!